Tickets - The End of My Self Esteem

I was in Vegas recently for a bachelor party. There are two stories to tell, but I'm going to stick with one for now.

It was about 10:30 Saturday and my friend Jon and were, where else, waiting in line at an ATM. We'd just finished dinner and were gearing up for a night of "activities." We got our cash and turned to walk away when we were approached by two women in their mid to late 40's. Not young. And frankly, while they were dressed kind of slutty, they weren't the kind of 40 somethings who are desperately trying to look younger. These ladies were on the prowl for guys their age. So they stopped us. We are both 30 years old.

Lady #1: What's up guys? You have tickets?

We have no idea what she's talking about. We didn't have tickets to anything. We shrugged our shoulders, gave her a confused a look and said "No."

She and her friend then rolled their eyes at each other and looked at us like they were teenagers, and we were their parents. Then, with more attitude than I'd have thought possible, we got this thrown in our face:

Lady #1: Uh, Rod Stewart tickets.
Lady #2: They have no idea.

Then they walked off. We laughed briefly, making jokes like "we have no idea? They're heading off to see Rod Stewart!" (It's worth noting here, that I was under the impression Rod Stewart was dead). We went back to the restaurant to meet our friends and forgot about it.

Until about 10 minutes later, when a devastating thought occurred to me: Jon and I are not ugly - at least he's not, and there we were in our jeans and button down shirts inside the MGM Grand Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada preparing for a night of unimaginable debauchery, and these two women took one look at us and immediately, without any hesitation assumed that we were there to attend a Rod Stewart concert.

What the fuck? What do we look like? What vibe are we giving off? How could this be?

You know what kind of people go to Rod Stewart concerts. They're old. They wear Tommy Bahama shirts. They don't like any music they can't understand the words to and when they have sex it's only for recreation and not reproduction (if you catch my drift). They're also all white, but that's besides the point.

I don't need to tell you that this completely ruined our night. Any sense of confidence we may have had was long gone.

Thankfully, in Vegas, you never have to walk to far before you run into a little Asian dude who wants to give you and your buddies a ride to a fountain of self confidence: A strip club.

Now, if I can only avoid getting slapped...