Knock First
When I was in college, I lived in a six person suite with a guy who used to masturbate fairly regularly (2/day). He was even kind enough to alert the rest of us to his schedule by playing the same song on his computer before taking a trip to palmdale. "Adam's Song" by Blink182 has been forever ruined. Any song that causes me to immediately think of my buddy jerking off is a song I am not going to play very often.
While his choice to have a masturbatory anthem is a curious one, the benefits to his suitemates became clear with a recent news story regarding masturbation. Whenever we heard the Adam's Song we all knew what he was doing and so nobody ever knocked on his door or barged into his room. This saved countless embarassing moments and awkwards encounters.
How awkward could such an encounter have been? This awkward. Granted, none of us owned swords but still. The best part about the story, in my humble opinion is the exclusion of any details about how the "victim" was discovered by his "attacker." We can safely assume he was found with his pants around his ankles, all lubed up and probably asphyxiating himself with an old leather belt. Both men, however, decided to exclude those details. Probably for the best.
While his choice to have a masturbatory anthem is a curious one, the benefits to his suitemates became clear with a recent news story regarding masturbation. Whenever we heard the Adam's Song we all knew what he was doing and so nobody ever knocked on his door or barged into his room. This saved countless embarassing moments and awkwards encounters.
How awkward could such an encounter have been? This awkward. Granted, none of us owned swords but still. The best part about the story, in my humble opinion is the exclusion of any details about how the "victim" was discovered by his "attacker." We can safely assume he was found with his pants around his ankles, all lubed up and probably asphyxiating himself with an old leather belt. Both men, however, decided to exclude those details. Probably for the best.
posted by Tent Time at 3:17 PM
2 Comments:
Your really excited you learned how to link news stories arent you big fella notice my utter lack of any form of punctuation thats right none at all me and c s lewis coming for your grammatci ass or wass it e e cummings or j r r tolkien or e l doctro or george r r martin well it will come to me eventually
parsons you have some strange news sources my friend
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