A Halloween Haunting
What follows is a terrifying Halloween Nightmare. You'll sweat with terror down to your very sole. Or just click away. I call it:
As most of you know, or have figured out, I'm married. Now, in spite of this, or in fact because of this, I masturbate a lot. A hell of a lot. Recently, however, there's been a rather disturbing trend in my climaxes, which has led me to start masturbating much much less. As you can imagine, this is not good.
It all started a few weeks ago when my wife and I were watching X-Men 2. Why 2? Well, for starters, Brett Ratner ruined X-Men 3, but mostly just because it was on. At any rate, if you know anything about the X-Men movies or the X-Men in general, you know there is a shape shifting character named Mystique. If you are not familiar with the movies, there are 3 things about her you need to know:
1. Her costume is blue body paint
2. She is always naked
3. She's played by Rebecca Romijn
Thinking about this, admittedly too much, I said that she would make the perfect wife (putting aside the fact that she is something of a serial killer). Imagine it, every night, her husband could have sex with a different woman. She could be anybody. Michelle Branch, Meredith Viera, the mom from ALF, a pregnant Demi Moore or Michelle Branch with a different hair cut. The possibilities and hair colors are endless.
It's possible that telling your wife that the idea of having sex with a different woman every night of your life is your ultimate fantasy is a bad idea. I'm not saying that it's definitely a bad idea, but it is possible.
My wife then brought up a good point. She said that Mystique might get a little self conscious that all these nights I want her to look like someone else. In fact, she might get very angry about it. My wife said that if she was Mystique, she would get back at me. After the third time I demanded to have anal sex with Melissa Ethridge, she would wait until she thought I was about to climax and change her body to exactly match my father. In that instant she would turn her head around and lock eyes with mine and more or less cause me to lose my sanity in 3 seconds.
First I laughed at this. It was pretty clever. And utterly devastating. I stopped laughing a few nights later when at my moment of porn and exficiation induced orgasm my mind temporarily produced a snapshot of my father's smiling face.
Why my brain did that, I do not know. Why it continues to haunt me to this day, I wish I knew. I wish I could stop it, I really do, but I just can't. And what's worse, what's somehow more disturbing, troubling and nauseating, is the fact that during these last few weeks that his eyes have been on me, my orgasms have never been better. They drain me so thoroughly that I can't go again for several days.
It's probably not a big deal though. I mean, all that sex I had with my dad when I was in my early twenties was bound to pop up again in my brain sooner or later, right? Right?
Happy Halloween.
"His Eyes Are Watching Me"
As most of you know, or have figured out, I'm married. Now, in spite of this, or in fact because of this, I masturbate a lot. A hell of a lot. Recently, however, there's been a rather disturbing trend in my climaxes, which has led me to start masturbating much much less. As you can imagine, this is not good.
It all started a few weeks ago when my wife and I were watching X-Men 2. Why 2? Well, for starters, Brett Ratner ruined X-Men 3, but mostly just because it was on. At any rate, if you know anything about the X-Men movies or the X-Men in general, you know there is a shape shifting character named Mystique. If you are not familiar with the movies, there are 3 things about her you need to know:
1. Her costume is blue body paint
2. She is always naked
3. She's played by Rebecca Romijn
Thinking about this, admittedly too much, I said that she would make the perfect wife (putting aside the fact that she is something of a serial killer). Imagine it, every night, her husband could have sex with a different woman. She could be anybody. Michelle Branch, Meredith Viera, the mom from ALF, a pregnant Demi Moore or Michelle Branch with a different hair cut. The possibilities and hair colors are endless.
It's possible that telling your wife that the idea of having sex with a different woman every night of your life is your ultimate fantasy is a bad idea. I'm not saying that it's definitely a bad idea, but it is possible.
My wife then brought up a good point. She said that Mystique might get a little self conscious that all these nights I want her to look like someone else. In fact, she might get very angry about it. My wife said that if she was Mystique, she would get back at me. After the third time I demanded to have anal sex with Melissa Ethridge, she would wait until she thought I was about to climax and change her body to exactly match my father. In that instant she would turn her head around and lock eyes with mine and more or less cause me to lose my sanity in 3 seconds.
First I laughed at this. It was pretty clever. And utterly devastating. I stopped laughing a few nights later when at my moment of porn and exficiation induced orgasm my mind temporarily produced a snapshot of my father's smiling face.
Why my brain did that, I do not know. Why it continues to haunt me to this day, I wish I knew. I wish I could stop it, I really do, but I just can't. And what's worse, what's somehow more disturbing, troubling and nauseating, is the fact that during these last few weeks that his eyes have been on me, my orgasms have never been better. They drain me so thoroughly that I can't go again for several days.
It's probably not a big deal though. I mean, all that sex I had with my dad when I was in my early twenties was bound to pop up again in my brain sooner or later, right? Right?
Happy Halloween.
Labels: dad, halloween, haunting, michelle branch
posted by Tent Time at 1:37 PM
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