Things My Wife Said To Me During Tetris

In continuing with confessions of geekdom that began with my last post's discussion of Yahtzee and Taboo, my wife and I are avid Tetris players on Nintendo 64. My wife is incredibly competitive and tends to let her emotions get the better of her, especially if/when I happen to win a game.

She has something of a history of violence and cruelty during competitions as even the most friendly game of beach volleyball with friends, included her throwing sand into an opponent's eyes. Don't get me wrong. We're both competitive, though I tend to threaten her life significantly less frequently than she threatens mine.

I therefore present to you the following list:

Things My Wife Said To Me During Tetris:

• I hate you
• If you take another breath, I'll kill you
• Keep scratching your nose, faggot
• There's nothing good about you as a person
• You're such a dickface
• I'm glad you've got this in your life, because you have nothing else
• Why aren't you pushing that fucking button?
• Are you done gloating, you piece of shit?
• We're not having sex for a week
• We're not having sex for a month
• We're never having sex again
• I don't know what I ever saw in you
• Sweet haircut
• You smell like dog shit
• How does someone so ugly get so lucky?
• I really want to hurt you right now
• I still want to hurt you
• You're lucky we don't own a gun
• When you do that, I imagine you dying

When we were done playing, I asked for a kiss to which she responded:

"Oh, shit."