Gym Locker Rooms - Hell on Earth

Why is that regardless of what locker I pick at the gym, when I come back to get my stuff there is always some troll, completely naked sitting right in front of it? Without fucking fail. Where does this guy come from? Because he's obviously not working out. Does he stop in after work just to use the shower and then sit around? Maybe he comes in just to sit his fat, sweaty ass in the sauna for a half hour and call it exercise.

And thanks for grumbling when I point out that my locker is behind your hairy back. Like I want it to be there. I desperately want to hold my lock now that it's covered with your sweat. Really, I'm the inconvenience here. And why does this guy always sound like every breath might be his last. Like every inhale is a great effort and every exhale sounds like relief that he was able to inhale.

And don't wrap that yellowing towel around you as you stand up. Just stand up and stretch briefly, before moving exactly one locker down so your six pound nest of pubic hair will never leave my peripheral vision. That's very nice. Thanks.


It all leads me to this - The Top 5 WORST Things I've seen in Gym Locker Rooms:

5. Fat guy with no visible penis standing naked in the middle of the locker room drying his taint "butt-floss" style.

4. Tool Academy-type Douchebag blow drying his pubes by the sink.

3. Middle-aged Asian guy wearing only a thong stretching and re-stretching his hamstrings.

2. Elderly guy emerge from shitter completely naked. (I don't know if he entered in same condition)

1. Overly tanned Mega-Tool lathering and re-lathering his ENTIRE body with lotion. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING LOCKER ROOM. How desperate for attention is this guy. And why is it illegal to kill him?